Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Weary

(*I feel a bit of a whine coming on, and it probably won't be pretty. If you'd like to exit the conversation at this point, I'd understand.)

The last few days have been a bit trying. After some reflection, I realize that most of the things that have happened are a result of my Ignorance in the City. Unfortunately, admitting that I'm ignorant doesn't make me feel any better. Especially when I'd like to imagine myself as Savvy in the City or perhaps Sophisticated in the City.

As exciting as this journey is, as beautiful, as powerful as the evidence of God's hand has been,

It still isn't easy.
I never expected it to be easy.
Even so, I'd like to share some of the events of the past few days that have led to my weariness.
  • On Sunday morning, after waiting 20 minutes in sweltering subway station heat, Steve and I decided that the 1 train was never coming and hopped on the 2 train. "They both go north," we thought, "how far off could it be?" The answer to that is, very far. We emerged in the exact middle of Harlem and speed walked the mile or so to the church (no cabs in the middle of Harlem on a sunny Sunday morning). We were 15 minutes late to the service and I had blisters the size of dimes on my feet. You can imagine the worshipful mindset with which we arrived.
  • Jonathan peed on me in the grocery store, as it turns out that bathrooms there are for employees only. The argument, "But he's going to pee his pants!" carries no weight.
  • I was scolded this morning on the bus by a crabby old lady. This is because I was so busy looking out the window to find our stop that I didn't make the kids move quickly enough to make room for another elderly woman. When I did make them move, the kids both cried and wailed like the tired, hungry kids that they were. And the whole situation made me mad (understatement).
  • I paid $7 tonight so the kids could get each get a small Tastee Delight ice cream (If you know your Seinfeld, there was an episode once where they spoofed this place- Kramer spilled some into the mayor's blood sample and his cholesteral results were all wacko). Before they could finish a third of it, Chloe said she had to go to the bathroom and couldn't hold it until we got home (see a bathroom theme, here?). We had to go into a Chinese restaurant where the bathrooms were so gross that I couldn't, in good conscience, let the kids finish their ice cream after it'd been in that space.

I know all these things are small, but when they are settled on the shoulders of uncertainty and unfamiliarity, they weigh much.

Thanks for sharing in my weariness for this moment.

I'll feel better in the morning.

6 comments:

chelle said...

Dana, you are allowed to feel weary and tell us all about it--that is what blogging is for. It isn't always the huge things that get me down, but a combo of little things that just add up. The good news is, the little things are easier to get over. And you will, somehow you will get used to the rudeness in city and again discover grace in the city.

Like how I did that?

Love ya!

Anonymous said...

Oh if only there were little port-a-potties that could fit in your purse. Half of your problems would be solved.

On another note... thanks for your blogging. It is so exciting to hear about your journey. We are praying for you!

Marsha

Dana said...

Funny that you say that about the purse portapotties, Ms. Marsha. The other day at the park I saw a nanny whip out a plastic grocery bag and tuck it into this little toilet seat thing. The little boy sat down, did his business, and the nanny tied up the bag and threw it away. Rather like all the dog walkers that I see. I was a bit horrified to see it when it happened, but I do understand why a person might choose to go that route. Doesn't mean I'll do it myself, though.

Mom W. said...

Some days -moments- are like that! Wow, purse porta potties sounds like a great idea (ideally).
Thanks for your continuing information on you daily life. I enjoy all of it, even the weariness. I hope today is a great day and you can find bathrooms easily and useable. My prayers are with you.
Love to All of You!

julie said...

Oh Dana,

Life is so crazy sometimes, but know to enjoy each moment and know you will look back on this and laugh. You can whine and complain all you want, just know we are all here to support you and hopefully it will help you to talk to others. I know when I have a bad day it feels so much better to share it will someone even if they laugh as I'm retelling it. Being a mom is so hard, but in a new city it will be even harder. You can do it!

Julie

fig said...

Dana, keep your chin up. Someday you will look back at these days with enjoyment. (Hard to believe) Recently I saw a young lad strip all his clothes off and just wet the grass in my front yard. He looked a lot like Drew. My entrepreneur spirt is taking a close look at that port-a-potty in a purse idea. Inflatable potty with disposable bags. Not bad, but who wants to blow them up?