Monday, April 26, 2010

Let's Get This Potty Started: A Haiku

Auto flush broken
I remain oblivious
Dancing in the stall

C'mon. You know you've done it too.
You finish your business, stand up, and watch anxiously for the autoflush to kick in.
But it doesn't.
You wait.
It doesn't.
So what do you do? You wave your hands in front of the sensor, shimmy your hips a bit, mime sitting down and standing up again. And before you know it, you're doing the autoflush dance.

Or is it just me?

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Unsolved Mysteries

How'd that get there? I found this at the end of Pier 45.

If, while walking through the city, you pay attention to what's on the sidewalk (and you'd be unwise not to), you'll notice any number of items lying in the most unlikely places. For me, it's a bit of a game to create the back stories to those things. Most often, the setting to the story is the middle of the night, and various and sundry characters play the lead role, pursuing deeds of darkness, romance, and adventure.

And this glove? It was placed there by a conscientious junkie, don't you agree?

New York Lexicon Definition 7: Repress

Repress (verb)

  • Def. 1: What an impatient person does when, while waiting for the elevator, he/she looks at the elevator button, sees that I've already pushed it, and proceeds to push it again anyway. As if my initial push is insufficient to call the elevator.
  • Def. 2: What I must to to the feelings of annoyance that arise when Def. 1 occurs.


Are you saying you don't have citywide pillow fights in your town?

I shudder to think of all the potential bed bugs, drool, dust mites, etc that were being so fiercely flung.