Monday, June 04, 2007

I Just Can't Trust You Anymore, Sarah Jessica Parker

Yep, she's got great hair.

Yep, I'd scoop up her wardrobe and run with it as fast and as far as I could (that's assuming I was a size 2 or 0, like SJP herself).

But, man,
do I feel betrayed by her choice in footwear.

I've been watching S and the C reruns on TBS lately, and this time around I'm (a tad) obsessed with Sarah Jessica Parker's choice in footwear.

Look, think I. Look at her lovely shoes.
4 inch heels, strappy little straps. Dainty and feminine and oh, so chic.
She flits around the city, happy little lark, footloose and fancy free.

Sadly, it's all a farce (Oh, were you thinking the show was a documentary?).

Inspired by SJP, I bravely donned my strappy heels this past week for a party occasion.
2 blocks in, and I knew I had been deceived...and we weren't even to the subway yet.
A few blocks more and I started thinking about that episode of Friends where Monica piggybacks on Chandler because her uber expensive boots hurt so much she can't walk.
By the end of the night, I was weighing the risk for stepping in spit or dog crud with bare feet vs. the pain relief I would feel if my shoes were removed.

I don't know how she did it, wearing such shoes with nary a complaint or a blister.
I can only assume SJP didn't actually walk more than 5 feet at any given time, changing into stylish bunny slippers between takes. Or perhaps she hitched a ride on the back of the nearest crew member.

My feet now bear the scars of taking shoe cues from Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's not pretty. Maybe next time I'll look toward Beatrice Arthur of Golden Girls fame for footwear inspiration.

Orthopedics, anyone?


gina said...

I once sold shoes for a living (first job in high school), and had 25 pairs of shoes - first time in my life I had more than one pair. I wore some of the coolest, most impractical shoes. But I was 16! Now...I have watched SJP, and others like Kate Walsh on Grey's Anatomy (WHAT doctor runs around in 4" stilettos?) and have come to the same conclusion as you. These women do not walk more than a few feet in those shoes. There is no frakkin' way! I HAVE taken off my heels and walked barefoot down city streets when I simply could not take it one second longer.

I wonder...could it be because she weighs all of 25 pounds? Maybe when you're THAT skinny, you can wear anything on your feet and they don't hurt?

chelle said...

stay true to your Merrells, lady.

I'll keep my Kangaroos.

Anne Marie said...

"God's gonna get you for that,Walter." -Bea Authur, as Maude from the hit tv show, Maude (my generation)
Rock on Bea~

Laurie said...

I am appalled that Sarah Jessica deceived us all ...

I recently bought a pair of the sexiest little black shoes that I cannot walk in. I recently walked right out of one when the heel got caught in a crack in the sidewalk. (In front of two other couples right outside the restaurant.) I am so sophisticated!

Lorraine said...

I totally watch for SJP's footwear on that show. And I think you're right about the bunny slippers. I do have one pair of 4 inch strappy shoes that are outrageously comfortable that I could probably wear hiking but I know they are the exception, not the rule.

SJP Stalker said...

It is a painful privalage to be a woman sometimes. If you can walk past the blisters and have enough wine - you can wear anything on your feet. Well at least I have been working towards that.
Julie Lenger Harkless

Becky and Jeremiah Swann said...

I recently stumbled on your blog and read this article and totally related I'm jealous that you are living the City life and am in love with Sara Jessica Parker too! My name is Becky Swann and I was looking at Katie Mulder's and travel though on of her friends, Diane to you but I had to comment that was such a funny article! I am not a stalker I just get pretty bored at work! Thanks for entertaining me!